In these times, I need a saving grace
by emmaswanskillian
Summary: Zelena has a potion that makes you see your deepest desires, and she wants to know Emma's. CS, random, not plausible, but spawned from JMO and Colin being in FTL costumes. Eh?


She feels heavy, like every bone in her body has turned into solid metal, like her head has a two ton brick sitting on top of it. It's the restraints Zelena has on her, keeping her from using any magic whatsoever. They're not physically heavy but they feel like they are, weighing down on her mind unlike anything she's ever known. She kicks herself mentally, because if she hadn't been so distracted by seeing Killian in the other corner of the room she now sits in, Zelena wouldn't have been able to get the bonds on her and then slam the iron door in front of her shut.

Obviously, she doesn't feel guilty for being worried about him. She just hates that she can't ever seem to focus on anything else other than him in situations where it would be useful to be more aware of her surroundings.

Which she should be doing now.

Sighing, she forces her eyes off of the still unconscious form only a few feet from her, casting a glance around her as she stands. They're in the basement of an another old farm house, different than the first one they'd found so long ago. The room is dark other than a single lightbulb hanging from the roof, swinging a little, though she isn't sure why. Maybe there's a draft a little higher up.

Her eyes flick back to Killian, reassuring herself that his chest is still moving up and down with his labored breaths. Seeing that it is, she looks around a little more, seeing a desk in a corner, a bookshelf in another, and a single twin bed along the wall. The walls are secure, no holes, cracks, or secret exits that she can find. The door is shut tight, locked and bolted from the other side. She sighs, hating that this stupid magic restriction makes her feel like an anchor.

She sits down beside him again, her body slumping against the wall at her back as she gives up trying to find a way out. Killian is warm beside her, despite how cold the air is, and she reaches out for his hand with her own, sliding her fingers around his palm. A lump forms in her throat, the habit of blaming herself strong enough to pull a single tear from her cheek that she immediately reaches up to wipe away.

"Killian." She squeezes his hand, trying again to wake him up. When he stirs, she immediately pulls her hand away, watching closely and attempting to hide the relief flooding through her. "Hey, I was wondering when you'd wake up." Her voice sounds a little choked, and she clears her throat as quietly as possible.

He looks up at her, still a little dazed, and then sits up a little straighter, glancing around the room until his eyes fall back on her. "Where are we?"

"Old farmhouse- different one from before. I... Zelena told me you were here and I came to get you." She shrugs, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

"Alone? And you didn't think that it would be a trap?" He's slowly breaking more into awareness, his body becoming more rigid as he once again takes in their surroundings.

She swallows thickly, her eyes lingering too long on his face. "She told me not to tell anyone else or she'd kill you, and yes, I knew it was a trap."

His eyes snap to hers quickly, a mixture of shock, despair, and worry coloring his features. "But you came anyway."

It's not a question, but she still nods, breaking their eye contact to look at her feet. "Of course I did."

He's watching her, and the heat of his eyes is enough to make her heart rate jump. In the end, he doesn't comment on her actions, doesn't scold her for being dumb, and maybe he's realizing that she might care for him just as he cares for her. Part of her doesn't want that, shies away from him knowing how much she cares, but there's a part of her that wants him to know.

Their silence lingers until the door opens and Emma jumps to her feet, Killian following her lead and standing as well, just not as quickly. Zelena is grinning wickedly, a small vial in her hands. "I want to play a game, savior. You up for it?" She holds up a finger. "Oh, don't answer. It's not really your choice."

She holds out the vial to Emma, raising an eyebrow. "This is something I've loved playing with. It shows both you and I your deepest desires, even the ones that you aren't even aware of. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Looking for weaknesses or something?" Emma narrows her eyes. "I don't think so."

Zelena smirks. "Well, Emma, as you are well aware, I already know of one." With a flick of her wrist, Killian's back hits the wall and he grunts as he falls back to the floor, wincing in pain.

"Killian!" She hears his name leave her lips but she can't move, the bonds on her arms now holding her feet steady, too. Oh, so the bonds are her arms just magically do whatever the witch wants them to.

She's getting really sick of her luck.

Killian's eyes meet hers, and she can't read his expression other than the pain laced in it.

"Now, we're going to play my game, or I'm going to kill your pirate." Zelena's smile has widened, and Emma feels fire in her heart, and she swears that if it's the last thing she does, she'll kill her. For now, no other options present themselves, so she takes the vial from Zelena and twists off the top. She thinks she hears Killian say her name from behind her, but she doesn't look to see as she downs the liquid.

For a moment, there's nothing, and then it's like she's watching a movie in 3D, standing in the middle of a forest. The first thing she sees is herself, but she almost doesn't recognize the woman standing in front of her. The clothes on her are ragged, a torn, frail looking dress and a blue cape draped over her shoulders.

"Does the princess not want to be a princess?" She hears Zelena's voice, but she's too focused on the picture in front of her. Does she? The answer is obvious, because no, she doesn't. That may be who she should have been, but it isn't who she is. Something shining catches her eye, and that's when she sees the small tiara settled into her hair. Somehow, she feels Zelena's confusion before she hears her speak. "Do you want to be a princess or not? Is the sure, strong Emma Swan conflicted over something as simple as her claim to royalty? Interesting, moving on. Next."

Emma gasps as Killian comes into view, but he's not dressed in his leather. Instead, he's wearing a brown coat with dark pants, boots, and a black shirt that has a bit of white peeking out from underneath it. Her first thought is that he looks handsome. The second is her realizing that he isn't missing a hand. Finally, her breath catches in her throat, because he's taking the hand of the Emma in front of her and kissing her, his other hand cupping her cheek. The kiss is gentle and soft, and it makes her heart ache.

"So," Zelena's voice makes her jump. "What? You wish the pirate wasn't a pirate and that he had two hands?"

Emma doesn't move, doesn't want to tell her anything, but she knows that the core of the image in front of her has less to do with what they're wearing, what the other circumstances are. Her mouth moves anyway, though, and she can't stop the words. "No. I wish that things were simpler so that we could just... be together. Without having to worry about anyone else or saving people."

The heavy feeling is increasing, but she knows this time that it isn't because of the magic restraints on her arms. It's her heart that feels heavy, weighing her down as she watches the image in front of her, not ever realizing how much she craved it until it was presented to her.

The Killian in front of her smiles down at this alternate universe Emma, his eyes shining with the same affection that Emma sees every day. "I love you," he says, brushing his nose against hers as the mirror image in front of her laughs, a high, lifting sound that barely sounds real.

"I love you," the Emma reciprocates, kissing him again. "Henry is waiting on us in the field with the picnic and Liana."

"Who is that?" Zelena sounds curious, but the image shifts and now the Killian and Emma in front of her are sitting on a picnic blanket with Henry and a little baby girl that looks just like Killian, but with Emma's eyes. She knows why the name is what it is, because it's much too close to Liam to be a coincidence.

She's a beautiful baby, and Emma's heart pulls as tears start falling down her face. No matter how strongly she tries to stop, she can't find control of anything, can't find any semblance of anything to hold on to. The tears just fall anyway, and she can't stop them.

"I'm bored with this happy, terribly unreal family. Let's move on."

The scene changes to a cabin, small and big enough for their little family. "Mom and Dad are coming for dinner tonight," Emma tells Killian, and he nods, smiling at her before going into another room. Another change shows Snow, David, Killian, Emma, and the two kids at a table, eating together.

"I'm terribly bored, that's enough." Everything goes away, and when Emma blinks, she's back in the basement. She immediately reaches up to wipe her cheeks as she regains control of her body, backing into the wall and sliding down it, hating that she can't even seem to look over at him.

"That was entertaining, seeing you crumble like that, Savior. Too bad it gave me nothing. I'll have to figure out something else." She disappears, leaving Emma with Killian beside her, and she can feel his eyes on her, heavier than anything she's felt the past few hours.

"Could you-?"

"No," he tells her, and she hears him take a shaky breath. "But I gathered the gist of it from Zelena's comments."

Emma puts her head in her knees, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain welling up inside her. She shouldn't tell him, can't let that piece of her go. If she doesn't, it'll tear her apart.

"It was perfect," she whispers, her voice cracking. "We still had Henry, and a little girl named Liana, and my parents came to dinner. It was like... like the curse never happened or something, but we weren't in a palace, and it... We were happy."

He doesn't respond at first, and she finally turns her head to look at him, keeping her head on her knees. "Perhaps, one day..." He hesitates, and she can see how nervous this makes him. "One day we will be anyway."

She scoffs a little, but still gives him a small smile. "Have you seen my life?"

He chuckles, shrugging. "It can't be this way forever. I refuse to believe that, and you shouldn't either, love."

She nods, leaning into his shoulder without giving herself time to think about it. He rests his head against hers, and it isn't the picture that now is burned into her brain, but it still feels nice.

Maybe it's a start.

"Everyone is going to find us," she says, assuring both of them. "We're going to get her."

He takes her hand in his, twining their fingers and it's like another piece falling where it needs to go. She just does see the corners of his mouth twitch up, and she pushes a little farther into his shoulder, focusing on how his voice rumbles through his entire body when he speaks.

"I know, love. If there's anything I've learned about your family, it's never to lose hope and that the lot of you have this uncanny ability to find each other."

_Never to lose hope_.

Emma sighs, pressing her forehead into him and getting as close as possible. The story she'd seen only a few moments ago fresh in her mind, she clings to him and lets herself hope that maybe one day, things can be like that, just with the exception of the cabin and the dress.

Those, she thinks she can do without.


End file.
